Posted on : Monday June 1, 2009

By Diana Davis, Author of Deacon Wives
(B&H Publishing)

She may look just like any other church member, but God has placed a special call on her life.  When a deacon is ordained to serve a church, the wife’s qualifications are carefully considered. 1 Timothy 3:11 states, “Wives, too, must be worthy of respect, not slanderers, self-controlled, faithful in everything.” Her words and actions can enhance or impair her husband’s effective service. She is highly respected, and helps set the pace for other women in faithfulness, soul-winning, dignity, harmony and ministry.

My dad was a deacon, so I saw from a young age how deacons and their wives impact a church. As a pastor’s wife in a new church plant with two deacons, a church with 20 deacons, and a church with 100 deacons, I saw how deacons’ wives influenced our churches’ harmony, ministry and growth. As a state leader’s wife, I’ve seen hundreds more! A few examples:

–  Sarah writes personal encouragement notes to Sunday School teachers, nursery workers, committee members and so on.

–  Heidi helps with the church website, photography, music and women’s ministry.

–  Linda intentionally sits by hurting and lonely people, widows and guests in church.

–  Betty helps equip women to share their faith.

–  Ruby organizes deacon wives to host new member receptions at the pastor’s home.

–  Cheryl prepares and delivers “bereavement bags” of paper products to church members’ homes immediately after a death in the family.

–  Donna warmly greets every church guest and introduces them to others.

–  Dawn makes hospital visits with her husband. Pat visits nursing homes. Susan visits homebound members.

–  Ruth lovingly helps with the Pastor’s preschoolers when needed.

–  Vela invites first-time guests to her home for lunch after Sunday worship. Cyndi hosts youth fellowships. Bess prepares a “prophet’s” room in her home for visiting speakers at the church.

Each of these uses her unique gifts and personality to joyfully and sacrificially serve God in the church and to enhance her deacon/husband’s effectiveness. Many help their husbands organize, visit, and serve. Some deacon wives meet for prayer during deacon meetings. Others plan ministry projects as a group. We could fill this publication with examples!

Her ministry may be highly visible or quietly behind the scenes, but her value is palpable. The deacon’s wife–it’s a worthy life. Will you thank a deacon’s wife this Sunday?

© Diana’s newest book, Deacon Wives (B&H Publishing), releases June 1st. She and her husband, Steve, write a regular column, “He Said/She Said,” for LifeWay’s Deacon Magazine.  Learn more at